literature

Regret (Chapter 27)

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Days seemed to pass like blurs for the two “stranded” nations on the island, with their days filled with mostly games and fun, neither of them really kept track of the time any longer. Of course, they always remembered when it was meal time, and with their amount of foods it was practically all the time now. They didn’t know how long they had been on the island, and they really didn’t care. They were free from their past life; they didn’t want to think about rescue. Not yet anyway.

After all there were more important things for them to do.

“Just a bit higher, Italy! I can almost see it!”

Yes, sir!

Like flying.

Germany squinted his eyes as the ghost Italian carried him up in the air a bit higher, bringing a hand up to shade the sun from his view as he scanned the area for something he thought he noticed earlier. They had made quite an effort to try to walk around the island to try to explore what they weren’t able to last time. And especially lately, they’ve noticed they hadn’t even gotten onto their spot they crash landed in last time. He blinked though, seeing familiar arrangements of sticks in the distance.

Could it be??

“I think I see it! Two o’ clock from our current position!”

Italy glanced upwards in slight confusion but faltered, gripping hold of the German tighter. He chuckled lightly, “If you want me to keep you up here you can’t be using clock talk!” Germany looked up vaguely before he nodded in understanding.

“Very well, set me down!” He called out, though half-expectedly, he was suddenly dropped from his current position in the air. “I said SET not DROP!!” He yelled, not even bothering on moving as suddenly the Italian swooped in and grabbed around his waist, suspending the German from the ground by only a few inches. He crossed his arms with small frown on his face, looking over his shoulder to the grinning ghost.

Ve, oh come on, Germany~ I wasn’t going to let that slide!” He smiled up to him with a small laugh, though with looking up to the other’s frown, it started to disappear. Did he really make him angry with that move? It wasn’t like it was the first time he pulled of something like that. Germany stared down hard at him for only a few more seconds before he grinned himself, small but sincerely.

“Right right.” He muttered before uncrossing his arms and landing back on his feet with Italy letting go of him. He straightened out his shirt for a moment before stepping forward, curling his stained hand toward the other in a beckoning motion to follow him. Without another word the two began walking again, only being silence for about a few minutes before Germany finally spoke up, “I think I saw pieces of our old sign ahead a couple miles.”

Uwah, really!?” Italy squeaked, jumping up a little bit from excitement, but making sure he landed on his feet so he could still walk beside him. “I wonder if my pasta sculptures still there!

“Heh, who knows.” Germany chuckled at the remembrance of that large silly looking sand sculpture. He knew he and Japan tore it down a few weeks before Italy’s demise, why Italy didn’t remember that surprised him a little. Who knows, maybe all this time he was still looking back at it with rose colored glasses. Couldn’t exactly blame him, really.

Then again, what even did Italy remember back then? What did he block out from his mind since then, or was he able to what with only being a spirit? More importantly, did he even want to know?

Curiously, Germany side glanced over to the Italian, seeing that while just a bit ago his tone sounded bright and cheerful, he face had surprisingly gone serious, almost bracing himself for something. He pursed his lips lightly at this, realizing that Italy was a lot more uneasy to going back to the scene of his death than he originally thought.

Out of the blue, Germany shoved a hand against Italy, making the other stumble over sideways a bit and just look up at him in a concerned gaze.

“…. You’re it.”

Wha--

Before even getting a full word out, the German sprinted forward, not even giving Italy enough time to react properly. Italy blinked a couple times before a grin split across his face excitedly.

You think you can win a game of tag against a ghost!? An Italian ghost?? Think again, Germany!!!” He yelled before he ran after the blonde, laughing as he went.

The dreariness of the location they were heading to seemed to clear up as they chased after each other in a high speed game of tag, laughter of the both of them being heard over the empty beach. Germany tried once in a while to hide behind some trees so Italy would run past, but right as soon as he would, Italy usually knew to turn around to tag right against him before running off on his own. Though it wouldn’t take too long before Germany sped up his jog to grab a hold of the Italian’s shoulder make him the next one it.

After a long while at their game, Germany slowed to a stop as he pressed his hands against his knees, breathing a little heavily from all the exercise being put into their game. He wiped a hand to his forehead before standing up, dryly gulp as he looked forward to where he knew the other was maybe still running. As he tried to regain his breath, he looked to the hand he wiped his sweat on, looking over the bare hand.

When they crashed on the island, he had figured his gloves must have gotten lost in the storm, and surprisingly enough, he really didn’t seem to mind having them off. While Italy’s old blood still clung to his flesh like it did a year ago, he knew he only had Italy to see them. His blood was nothing to be ashamed of, not anymore.

After another small breather, Germany took off on a jog again to try to find Italy. However, it didn’t even take long before he saw Italy just standing there, completely still. He raised an eyebrow out of confusion and concern, quietly stepping through the sand so to not the startle the other too much before just setting a hand on the others shoulder.

“Are you all right?” He asked, though didn’t exactly get an answer. Curiously he looked over the Italian’s opaque form to see what he was looking at. In the sand in front of them were lined a number of sticks, all seemingly pointed in a random direction. Though upon closer inspection, if some other sticks had been placed in between them, it would have read ‘S.O.S’.

They made it back.

Germany frowned as the realization was silently made between them, able to feel Italy leave from under the grip on his shoulder to walk out towards where the sea met the sand. He stood quietly before he laid down on a particular spot, blinking a couple times as he stared up to the sky clear skies.

It was… right here, wasn’t it?” Italy asked aloud, though probably to no one in particular, “I died right here. I remember seeing the stars go dark. I remember feeling a void expand inside me. I remember... hearing your promise to me.

The blonde went over to the Italian’s side, sitting down beside him. This was where he sat too, he remembered. Being adjacent from the fire and those sickening makeshift kabobs they made. He reached out and took Italy’s hand, holding it with both of his own. He very gently squeezed it before softly petting the top of his hand, as if trying to keep him calm.

“Italy,” Germany began, frowning as he just squeezed the hand again, almost trying to just try to get what was on his mind through him through those soft actions. But he knew it wasn’t going to be enough. “What we did that night was unforgiveable. I know I’m sounding like a broken record but, I’m sorry.”

Italy sighed through his nose quietly before closing his eyes, squeezing his hand back as he didn’t say anything back to the apology. Germany sighed a little more audibly too, his shoulders sagging lightly as guilt began to gnaw at the pit of his stomach once again, closing his eyes as well just to be in their moment. Had it truly been almost a complete year since the incident? It was truly hard to believe.

If only there had been a way to avoid it all together… there had to have been some salvation somewhere on the island—

Did Italy ever tell you about what he found the day before you guys gutted him?

Germany’s eyes snapped open, an echo of a memory ringing in his ears. That’s right… at that meeting, China mentioned about how the Allies were able to eat. And that Italy…

On the island, I have a Chinatown! I saw you guys like, three times honestly. One time, Italy had found it out. I did offer him some food but he rejected it, ha, that kid was a trooper.

“… Italy.”

Hm?” Italy opened his eyes when he was called to, though he faltered as the others once saddened stare had suddenly formed into an almost cold glare down to him. He tensed up, not exactly sure what earned this look from him.

“Why did you not tell us about Chinatown?”

Chinatown?” Italy asked, raising an eyebrow for a moment, waiting for an explanation, but it was proven he didn’t need one as he suddenly gasped. He winced lightly as his hand was grabbed onto tightly, knowing very well there was no way he could talk himself out of this one.

“That’s right. China said he saw you there and even offered you food.” Germany said, he voice coming out as a quiet growl as something began to just rub him the wrong way. “After all this time, if you had just said something we could have avoided it all.”

I-I just…” Italy trailed off, averting his gaze with the other’s nervously, but having his hands squeezed roughly once again made him look back. “I was going to tell you! I swear, I was!

“Oh really? When? In a month?” Germany said, lessening his grip on Italy’s hand as the spirit finally started to talk.

I found it earlier that day, the day of when you ate me. Since it was all ready mid-day I knew we wouldn’t make it in good time. I was going to tell you the next morning so we, Italy faltered in his explanation, gulping a little as he felt his eyes start to water excessively from his own of guilt., “so we could all go fresh and maybe cleaner from being in the water! I swear, I swear… I was going to…” he trailed off as he closed his eyes, leaning his head back into the sand underneath him. “I should have said something.. I did this to myself… I-I’m sorry Germany… I’m sorry…

Germany’s glare died down as he sighed, once more petting Italy’s hand to try to calm him down. “It’s all in the past now, don’t worry about it.” He murmured softly, letting Italy cry quietly to himself for a small while while just being there next to him for support if he needed it.

They’re not sure how long it was that they just kept near the water, at first only having the sound of quiet hiccups and stifled cries mixing with the sound of the oceans crashes, but soon it faded back into the sound of nature alone. After some time, Germany looked up to the ocean, sighing once again before pushing himself back to his feet, leaning over still so he could still be holding Italy’s hand.

“Come on, we should either keep going or find some supplies to make a fire before it gets too late.”

Italy nodded, getting up as well before he just kept walking, not even bothering to let go of Germany’s hand, basically being a signal that he didn’t want to stay there for the night for obvious reasons. Germany didn’t even say a word, but just followed along willingly to wherever Italy felt comfortable on going to.

As the sun slowly very slowly began to descend towards the horizon, the blonde looked over to the ocean as they walked. The air had turned just as stagnant as it was when they first started heading there. Which could only mean one thing.

Germany pulled his hands away from Italy’s hand, this making the Italian stop and subconsciously reaching out in a grabby motion to try to take his  hand back. Germany held his hand up, raising an eyebrow as he waited. Italy huffed lightly before reaching up to try grab it before Germany swiftly moved it away.

Germany come on.” Italy said, actually sounding a little upset and tired. Though after a few more tries, he started to laugh a little, trying to use both of his hand to catch the German’s ever so evasive one.  Soon enough he clamped both his hands onto Germany’s singular once, grinning victoriously as he did so, “Ah-ha!

His smile tweaked upward as suddenly, with the others free hand, he pressed against the side to press against his ticklish points, Italy unable to help but giggling loudly and squirm under the touch. As he did though, Germany was quick to slip his hand out of the double hold the Italian had on him, the ticklish actions making it hard for him to concentrate on holding him.

Germany backed up and walked over to where they were sort of heading, waving both his hands in almost a taunting manner. “Want these? Come and get it!”

Heheheh, you’re starting to sound like Prussia!!" Italy commented, copying the smile Germany was finally showing before the other took off running once again. Their modified version of tag bringing them back out of the past and back into the present, of just two friends having fun on a mostly vacant island.

Germany bolted ahead as fast as he could, knowing fairly well this time if he was caught, he wasn’t going to be let go so easily. He grinned as he looked behind him for a moment before looking ahead, being sure to jump over a large heap of sand ahead of him so he wouldn’t get tripped up.  As he looked back after avoiding the obstacle, he paused, his grin fading away as he saw Italy suddenly tripping over the heap of sand and rolling into  a face plant a ways away from it.

He practically skidded to a stop at that, feeling actually pretty concerned for him at that. Not because he would be hurt, because he was a spirit what exactly could happen? But really, through hills of sand, Italy’s been able to prove he’s been able to fade through them, even if there’s driftwood in them. What exactly was there to make him make such a nasty fall?

Germany turned around and headed back over to Italy, looking over him to see if he was at least doing all right. Italy coughed as he wiped sand off of his face, looking up to see the German offering a hand to him to help him up. Italy grinned as he took the hand, with both of his own.

There! Mine now!” Italy chirped in victory, Germany just softly chuckling as he figured he would accept defeat at this. After all, it probably wouldn’t be wise to spend too much energy if it was getting late. His amused smile stayed on his face as Italy looked around, raising a brow as Italy just seemed to brighten up. “Ah, I know this place!! When I was in limbo with Grandpa, we were on this part of the island!

Italy pulled Germany along with him as he looked around the area more clearly, “Grandpa was right here, and I was usually over here!” He went back over to the giant heap of sand he tripped over, tilting his head when he looked at it. He grinned though, a softer, almost nostalgic smile. “I would sit over here, and the heaven ladies would always try to cheer me up. There was this one bella, Lucia, who always loved to try to bury me in sand.

Germany laughed lightly at the thought, looking down to the sand heap. “That’s one way to cheer someone up I suppose.” He grinned just a bit more, looking up to Italy and waiting until the other looked up to him before speaking, “you think maybe she buried something here to leave for you? It’s not often heaps of nothing make you trip like that.”

Ve, just maybe!” Italy kneeled down, pulling Germany down with him before they dug at the sand a bit, curious to figure out what was exactly under it. For a bit, they didn’t exactly find anything, both just content at pushing away sand at their own pace, even if there was nothing even in it. How, Germany’s content smile was suddenly shaken as Italy gave a loud shrill gasp, Germany quickly looking over to him worriedly.

“What is it?? What’s wrong?!”

H… H-Hand…

“What?!”

Germany looked over to Italy’s area to see that indeed, from where he was digging, a pale olive colored hand with slight black fabric round the wrists was sticking out of the heap. Both of them stared in shock, looking to each other before back down to the hand. The color.. the fabric… it had to be…

They let go of each other’s hands to concentrate more and digging away at the sand in front of them, their pace being quick and frantic to dig up what it had been hiding this entire time they had returned to the island. As they pulled off more, a familiar sight became apparent to them.

Arms covered with a withered black jacket, legs barely covered by yellow trunks, a chest with a large fading scar on its very thin torso. And at last, the face of a young man with auburn hair with a stubborn curl, smiling contently as if they were having a sweet dream.

G….G-Germany…. I…” Italy raised a hand to his mouth, shaking as he looked over to Germany, seeing that Germany was just about the same quivering mess as he was. But instead of the look of almost terror, Germany smiled brightly, his tears glistening in the light of the setting sun. Italy lowered his mouth as he gave a giddy smile of his own, wiping his eyes as he looked back down to his body. It looked very dehydrated and extremely thin, but it was his. “…if I hadn’t have gone to see you.. I might have all ready been alive..

“Now,” Germany gulped again, not even bothering to wipe away the tears that feel freely down his cheeks, he was not ashamed of them in the slightest. “N-Now, I can keep my promise.” He muttered before he looked to Italy, reaching over to take the body’s dry, lifeless hand into his own before motioning over to it with his free one.

Italy sniffed before he stood up, stepping over the sand to try to fit where the body was lying, “ I made a promise myself too, to play with my friends when I woke up.” He sat down, his legs slowly forming back into his actual body. He reached forward, putting his hand into the hand of his physical form that Germany held, feeling it slowly dissolve into it and able to feel Germany’s incredible gentle warmth on something that had been neglected for so long. “… Will you be there when I wake up?.

Germany’s chin trembled as he squeezed Italy’s hand once more, almost as in assurance. “Yes… Y-yes I will… I swore upon the stars that I would, didn’t I?” He gave another teary smile at him as Italy chuckled very quietly, giving one more smile back before leaning back into the sand. He watched as Italy laid back into his body and become absorbed into it, his spirit being no more. Germany leaned forward, his brows furrowing worriedly as nothing seemed to happen just yet.

A minute passed… and another… time seemed to pass ever so slowly with no motions from the Italian at all. He frowned in concern, sniffing quietly before stifling a sob.

“Italy…. Italy please… wake up…” he pleaded quietly, closing his eyes as he squeezed his hand once more. Suddenly, his eyes snapped open, feeling the hand gently squeeze back. He leaned forward more, and smiled as Italy’s eyes opened for the first time in what seemed to be an eternity.

And for the first time since that horrible night, taking in a large gasping breath of living air.
OHMAHGAW

THE THING HAS FINALLY HAPPENED~~

AFTER ALL OF THE HEARTBREAK, TRIALS, AND TRIBULATIONS IT HAS HAPPENED~~

HOORAAAAY!!

((in other news I've read auf wierdersehen lately and I just really really needed some feelsy gerita because gOD DAMMIT that story.)

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Giaciano's avatar
OH MY GOD REALLY GAY HOLY SHIT