Regret (Chapter 15)

There was no denying that the first sensation he felt was the thudding headache and several sharp small pains around his body from the multiple cuts. But what he wasn’t expecting was a lightly warm pressure wrapped around him. Slowly, he opened his eyes, his blurred vision coming into focus to the blank ceiling above him. He raised his head very slightly, not having to go far to see his blankets on top of him and that he was back in his room.

Wait, back in his room? He was on top of the building last. Did he survive the fall? Or—

He suddenly tensed as the memory of what happened the night before began coming back to him, especially of the moment right before he passed out.

Italy… he was alive? No, that’s impossible.

But he felt his hand.

But was still stranded in the ocean. There’s no possible way.

With a grunt, he pushed himself up, rubbing his head gingerly and grimaced as his bare hand went through his greasy hair. Yuck, he needed to shower. He pulled his hand back away, frowning a bit more before his eyes widened a little. His pinky was a very much lighter hue than the rest of the hand. That was where Italy held it right?

“So, Sleeping Beauty is finally awake, huh?”

He perked at the other’s voice, at first flinching at the noise but then turning to the owner to see a very very disgruntled Prussia leaning against the doorframe.

“Ah… Good morning.”

“You mean good day. It’s almost four in the afternoon.”

“What!?”

He reached over to the alarm clock and took a good look at it, eyes widening that indeed it was pretty late in the day. He had been asleep for that long? He set the alarm clock back down on the nightstand before looking to his brother, instinctually sticking his hands under the blanket even though Prussia knew about the stains.

“Germany. What the fuck did you do last night?”

Germany leaned back a little at the angry tone his older brother had at him, even more put off by the fact that for once he was called by his actual name.  He averted his gaze, not exactly wanting to repeat what he did, but was curious what Prussia did know.

Prussia’s eyes narrowed on him before stepping forward, setting his hands on his hips as he stared down his little brother.

“You run out on us at the meeting, I spend all night waiting up, worrying like hell for you and search the entire town twice. And what happens!?” He gave a pause, hoping the other would try to say something to explain himself, but still had only silence to deal with. With a roll of his eyes, he turned on his heels to gesture toward the phone, “I get a fucking call from the hospital you broke Japan’s neck and practically beat him to a pulp, and what’s worse, another call from the authorities that they found your body crashed in one of the executive buildings down the way! On the fucking seventh floor, how did that even happen!? Now Japan’s still in the hospital and you look pretty much like shit yourself. Everyone’s talking, Germany! Everyone!”

Prussia looked back to Germany, still seeing him looking down at the blankets, clenching them tightly. “You better be fucking grateful I took you home, they were this close to locking you away somewhere!!”

“… I’m sorry.”

“Sorry!? All of that and that’s all you got to say for yourself?!”

“What do you want me to say?!” Germany finally yelled, lifting his head to finally match eye contact with him. “I was attacked during the break of the meeting, I tried to murder Japan and then I tried to kill myself! There, are you happy!? Is that enough for you!?”

“Murde—what?! You were…” Prussia’s loud tone sudden paused, silence coming from him for a few moments before he said in a more quiet and worried tone, “…trying to kill yourself?”

“Yes.” Germany said bluntly, looking away once again at just mentioning it. “I wasn’t thinking right. Both Romano and Ukraine jumped me at the meeting and—“

“Whoa whoa, that bastard’s sister jumped you??”

“Yes. She found Romano’s knife and tried to use it on me. After that I guess, I guess things just went downhill. I got mad at Japan since it was all his fault so I tried to kill him, then I would kill myself so when I woke up…” He paused at that, holding his hands together as he felt them slowly beginning to shake, “… when I woke up, Italy would be back.”

Prussia quietly sighed, his shoulders dropping a little before he went over next to him, sitting down on the bed right beside him.

“West… I’m really trying to help you. You know that I’m right here to support you through this, right?” Prussia frowned lightly as the other grunted in acknowledgement. “I was really really scared, and for good reason apparently. You’re not like that, West. I know you much much better than that. My little brother is so much stronger than that, he’s the strongest guy in the universe! And that strength is not just in his muscles, but it’s in the biggest muscle that matters,” Prussia reached over slowly, gently patting his brother’s chest, “it’s in here, big guy.”

Germany pursed his lips together slightly, looking down at his chest, tentatively copying the others move and tapping his chest.

“Prussia, I’m not that strong. I… If I was that strong I would have never let us do what we did to Italy.” He curled his hand into a fist, lightly pounding on his chest a couple of times, “the strongest of us all is Italy. And he’s not here any longer because I did this to him. I am so much weaker than him. Even in death, I cannot smile.”

Prussia sighed one more time, putting his arm up before embracing his much larger brother, holding him close and setting his chin on his shoulder. He didn’t say anything for a long while, and to his surprise, soon he felt Germany hug him back, feeling his arms quiver as he held his family close to him.

They stayed like this for quite a while before Prussia sniffed, pulling back and patting Germany’s shoulder as he stood up, very lightly wiping away a tear with his other hand.

“A-Ah… anyway, you’re home now. Probably be best if you got some bed rest for a while. But since you’re up, you’re probably starving! Bratwursts and beer sound like the perfect late time breakfast! Kesesese!” Prussia cackled aloud before turning on his heel, Germany noticing him wiping at his eyes one more time along with another shaky sniff before fully exiting the room, closing the door behind him.

Germany breathed out through his nose, closing his eyes as he held his own hands again, feeling them slowly stop shaking. Perhaps hallucinating Italy was a sign. He was still out there, waiting to be saved, and they had to find him. He could not die yet; he had a promise to keep. But all in all, that still was a very strange dream.

“Ve… did you really mean all of that, Captain?”

Germany froze in his place, every muscle in his body tensing up. What… was that? That didn’t sound like Prussia. Was he... hallucinating again?

“W… what?”

“About that strength thing. You really think I’m strongest? That’s… the nicest thing I’ve ever heard.”

He dryly gulped, knowing for sure who that voice belong to, but knew that it was impossible. Was it?

Hesitantly, Germany opened up his eyes, seeing a smiling Italy sitting on the other half of him in bed. At being noticed, the other jumped very lightly before warmly smiling at him.

“Good morning, Germany!”

Of course, it didn’t take more than around thirty seconds for his smiling face to be blotted out by black spots again, feeling his eyes roll upwards and his body slump over.

“O-Oh no, not again!! Germany, stay awake!!”